Hearts of Trees

“I Need Love” - Amanda Blank

When I’m alone in my room sometimes I stare at the wall, and at the back of my mind I hear my conscience call… telling me I need a girl who’s as sweet as a dove, for the first time in my life I see I need love.

There I was giggling about the games that I had played with many hearts (I’m not sayin’ no names). Then the thought occurred, tear drops made my eyes burn, as I said to myself, “when am I gonna learn?”

I can feel it inside, I can’t explain how it feels; all I know is that I’ll never dish another raw deal— playin’ make believe, pretending that I’m true, holding in my laugh as I say that I love you.

Without you I think I’d rather be in hell, life just wouldn’t be as fun, it wouldn’t be the same. I wanna stay with you forever and even take your last name, ’cause there’s no one in my life that makes me feel as good as you… the way we cuddle on the couch and share the secrets that we do, with all the little jokes that no one else could ever know and the part of me that you can see ‘cause you’re the only one I show.

I know we gotta make it work, ‘cause baby you’re the one for me. Without you by my side my world would be incomplete… and if you ever leave me lonely, girl, my heart would be crushed.

DISCLAIMER:

There are people in life who do things, and there are people in life who write about people who do things.

If you don’t want bad things written about you, don’t do bad things.

airport sighting

Businessman, mid-thirties. Suit, bad comb-over.

Stands up, stretches, picks at wedgie. Looks around inconspicuously and shoves hand down his pants to scratch his butt. Takes said hand and SNIFFS it.

I couldn’t make this up if I tried. I am seriously dying.

Micro-fiction: energizing characters

My sister hears the car from her bedroom and dashes downstairs. Hearing her feet ping across the wooden floor in a frenzy, I leap from my chair and follow behind. She is almost done setting the table by the time I enter the kitchen. I grab some drinks and place them along the plates as my mother storms through the door. Her face is sunken, her eyes untrustworthy. The hairs on the back of my neck stand. She demands to know what has gone on all afternoon. My sister stumbles all over her words, dissolving into the child that she always has been during these times. High shrieks pierce the air from my mother’s mouth, reverberating through the hallway. The echoes summon my father from his room, who wipes his eyes and rub his messy hair with hands that are too clean to be a real man’s. I swallow hard, eyes averting to my sister’s, which never seem to rise from the floor.

giving a fictional character a voice.

“The Yellow Wallpaper” by Charlotte Perkins Gilman was a short story that profoundly impacted me. I became obsessed with it after reading it. It has such a strong feminist backing to it. I chose it for this exercise because I liked how obscure and mad it became.

creeping and crawling,
crawling and creeping,
in and out of the wallpaper,
in and out of my mind.

my husband, you never heard my voice.
tired and sad? try silent and mad!
the only escape I ever had
was through my pen and paper.

and in my words I would scream and shout,
shout and scream;
in and out of the wallpaper,
in and out of my mind.

out and in.

Lover, do you hear me now?
because I’m clearing my throat
(spreading my wings)
and stepping out of this dingy yellow wallpaper.

stepping out, stepping over you.
husband of mine, why are you on the floor?
your eyes are cold and you look so unsure.
I’ll walk right over you.
at least I have the courtesy not to step on you.

it nearly cracked my ribs each time you did that.
sweet little husband of mine,
rest easy on this floor.
I have finally escaped.

and if you loved me evermore,
you would let me run free.
in and out.
out and in.
of my mind.

haikus

I. I love Your green eyes
the way they sparkle and shine
please say You’ll be Mine.

II. kiss Me with those lips
let Your tongue entangle mine
who Me? I’m just fine!

III. bodies together
under the glow of the stars
Lovers forever.

IV. You taste of cocoa
and You smell of patchouli
You drive Me crazy.

V. Your fingers dip in
a moans escapes from My lips
Hush! they can’t hear Us.

VI. I straddle Your frame 
under Me You purr softly
I call out Your name.

mundane activity turned into a romantic one

I watch the 
droplets 
trickle 
down 
the tile walls 
and the steam fill up the room. 
My heart is pounding steadily as I step inside of the tub, 
my mind full of thoughts that 
spill 
down 
the drain 
as I finger through my hair with shampoo suds. 

The sensation of the heated water beating down my body is almost too much to handle. 
I feel the soap 
sliding 
from my neck 
to the arch of my back 
and down 
my
legs. 

Each piece of negativity is washed away from me as I become enchanted by the scent of warm vanilla sugar. 

I spread hot chocolate scrub across my arms, admiring the contours of my muscles and studying the veins that splay across my wrists. 
I can feel your hands across my chest 
and I can taste you in that moment. 

I lean my head back and let the water shower my face, feeling peaceful and innocent. 
My lips part and kiss the waterfall, tasting the refreshing purity which is unlike anything I’ve ever had before that moment. 

It’s more than just water; 
it’s you with me.

As the drops 
slide 
down 
my throat, 
I feel your fingertips trickling their way down my bony frame. 
I can hear your light laughter as I rub my eyes that are stained with lathered soap. 

I carry you with me everywhere I go. 

As I rinse myself, the sounds of the rainfall fill my mind like music. 
I feel whole and loved. 
I ease the chrome handle into the downward position
and the water ceases to fall. 
There is an occasional 
drip
drip
drip-drop 
that softly trickles from the faucet. 

The plush towel that my hand reaches for embraces me and holds me close. It’s warm and safe, but there’s nothing like the 
security 
of your 
arms 
around 
my body.

Daily Musings

“We had a deal there, we nearly signed it with our blood. An understanding! I thought that you would keep your word- I’m disappointed, I’m aggravated… it’s a fault I have, I know: when things don’t go my way I have to blow up in the face of my rivals. I scream and rant, I make quite an arrival. The men are surprised by the language; they act so discreet, they are hypocrites, so fuck them too.”

- Belle & Sebastian, “Dress Up in You”

This is quite possibly one of the most influential albums I have ever listened to.