Rules of Relationships

I have been in many relationships before. And by relationships I mean failed, trite gatherings of two overly-hormonal girls who get intense within the first thirty seconds of meeting one another and then spend about three months destroying the other’s life.

My longest relationship to date was a rocky year and a half that was full of arguments, tears and lies. I was betrayed time and time again, did a lot of betrayal myself, had no respect for this woman by the end of our time together and later realized that it wasn’t ALL my fault (despite what I had believed for almost a year at that point).

A relationship takes two people who want to make things work. Two people who respect, love and care for one another. No lies, just love. No secrets, no hidden agendas, just innocence and purity.

So I am here to save some of you the pains and perils that I went through by making a list of rules that we should follow when in a relationship. This will probably be aimed towards the lesbian community, as it is what I am most familiar with, but I am sure that the hetero/homo dating fields are not that far off from each other.

1. Do NOT lie. Watch for the three. One lie is excusable. Two lies can be moved on from. Three lies make you a liar. Liars do not belong in relationships. You can be a liar in one relationship but not in another. The point is to make sure that you are honest moving forward.

2. Cherish the one you love. How silly that I have to put this on the list.

3. Be sweet. Hold doors, write notes, take pictures.

4. Kiss. A lot. And then kiss some more.

5. Cuddle as often as possible, no matter how hot you get during the night. Always keep at least one hand on the body that you sleep next to.

6. Make time for yourself.

7. Keep your friends close and let them feel your appreciation for their platonic love.

8. Never compromise who you are as a person. Continue to make life and individual goals.

9. When you listen, do it to truly hear what the other person is saying. Be quiet and absorb everything. DO NOT spend your listening time planning what YOU are going to say. Just listen. You will learn a lot more.

10. Openly communicate everything. Brutal honesty may hurt, but misconceptions, miscommunications and misinterpretations hurt a lot more.

11. Don’t bother yelling. No one will hear you. Hitting is never excusable. Ever.

12. Leave jealousy at the door. Be proud if someone is attracted to your love, but aware of the situation.

13. Create things together. Meals, projects, things around the house. Let the creativity flow. Especially in the bedroom.

14. Learn and explore together. Find new places by traveling. Grow with one another.

15. Even when you think your love knows how much you care, tell her again. And again. And again and again and again. You won’t wear out the words.

This list will be added to, I’m sure. But these are just some general guidelines for everyone.